The past five hours have been spent reading the story of God from Genesis to Revelation. Thoughts have crept in throughout the day that have caused me to doubt whether or not my time was being spent in vain in light of all the temporary (insignificant, yet momentarily important) tasks awaiting accomplishment. I came to the conclusion that such a hypothesis is utterly foolish. No time spent with or for the King is foolish. My understanding of they rest and glorious news of your costly love/grace/sacrifice is resounding freshly in my soul. I thank Him today… the Most Hight, yet intimate Friend, for coming for me. For warning me of the wrath to come and transferring me into the kingdom of His beloved Son, the kingdom of light where I can be with Him from this moment and onward into eternity.
My spirit wrestles day in and day out with this news. “Am I living right? Am I living a life worthy of the calling He has given me? Am I loving people enough? Loving God enough? Am I accepting Christ’s gift of grace every moment without a calloused heart as a result of my culture or do I see His grace as an award to be earned? Do I believe Him or just in Him? Why do I feel like I am alone at times if this is really true?”
Yet He continually reminds me of my purpose on this planet, of my worth in His eyes. I am asking Him to continue cultivating in me an unshakable confidence and passion that captivates the world around me and thus makes others Homesick for Him. He is the ultimate truth. He is the only God. He can handle our worries, doubts, fears, brokenness, insecurities, joys, dreams, thoughts, emotions, annoying habits, etc etc etc. I cast my cares on Him because He cares for me. He knows me… and still adores me. I love Him and I don’t care who knows it. He desires heart-felt, affectionate devotion and not just a cool instagram of our quiet times. (somewhat similar to the fig tree that He himself cursed. Having the appearance of fruit, but lacking). There is much lostness in our age. Familiar false religion and mistaken religious victims who are desperate for His intervention.
I do not thirst for lofty words or drawn out phrases. I desire Him. The real Him. My flesh often blocks that desire, but He is greater than my heart and His word is true. Christ in me outlives the fickle emotion and created realities of Hannah Elizabeth Taylor.
I want to fulfill my task that my LORD has given me, but I want to have fun and experience pleasure and laughter. I want to love freely because it is delightful to me and Jesus. I want to know Him and the greatness of HIs power in the day to day.
He is the perfect sacrifice and it is all true. He adopted me, y'all. I love Him for it. He took everything that I owed, my sin, guilt, shame, messed up religion, messed up ideas, messed up soul, and offered up His blood - The Perfect Lamb was slain for me. For us.
For mankind you came to earth, to display your illogical affection
You drank the wrathful cup and commanded resurrection
Jesus alone is the life, the truth, and the way
He left us freedom to choose Him or woefully disobey.
Who would dare turn away from this unspeakably glorious gift?
Choose Him now and forever, may your eyes eternally lift
Thank you Yahweh! Thank you! You are my LORD and Master
You came not to conquer nations, our hearts are what you’re after.